Relationships

I can’t help but notice that many people are posting about how men suck, how women suck. Blah, blah,blah.  It’s really easy to blame everyone else.  Heck, that’s even an officially sanctioned thing.  If you went home and ran your parents through a meat grinder, it must somehow be THEIR fault that you killed them and turned them into patties for the church cookout.  However, that’s an entirely seperate rant. 

The fact of the matter in all strings of sucky relationships is that there is one common denominator.  There is one factor that remains the same from one crappy relationship to the next.  This is the part no one ever wants to hear.  It is a stark and unflattering truth.  That one common factor is – you guessed, kids – YOU.  For what ever reason in your dark and twisted past, you are attracted to psycho-bitches/complete assholes.  And for some reason, you send out subconscious signals that attract the psycho-bitches/complete assholes to you. 

Worse yet, people will treat you as shabbily as you let them.  Think that last statement over and let it sink in for a moment.  If you act like a doormat, then the psycho-bitches/complete assholes will think that they have free reign to run all over you.  The first time they try, you need stand up to them and let them know that this is NOT going to happen again.  Then they will either slink back to what ever rock you found them under or they will straighten up and actually act like a decent human being. 

Psycho-bitches/complete assholes come in two varieties.  First is the upfront psycho-bitches/complete assholes.  You can usually spot them because they say something like “The last person I dated was a psycho-bitch/complete asshole.”  That’s usually your cue to exit stage right.  The second type is the stealth psycho-bitches/complete assholes.  They have really nice things to say about their last relationship until you’re about 6 months into the new relationship in which case the ex is now in the “psycho-bitches/complete assholes” category and you know that they were being nice because they secretly want the ex back.  You also know that you’re nothing more than a placeholder for the ex.

Half the problem is that people who are dating don’t know what it is to be an adult.  They grew up with their parents letting them get away with lying. They cheated in high school.  They went off to college, joined a frat or sorority, which often takes cheating in class to a whole new level.  They lack both ethics and maturity.  Then you meet them and they apply those same ethics and maturity levels to you.  That’s what happens when you date “guys” and “girls” instead of  men and women. 

For you ladies out there, seriously, stop acting like it’s high school. If you want a real man, act like a real women.  Be upfront about what you like, what you don’t like, and what you want from a relationship.   A real man will find
you.  He will be someone you can trust and rely on and who will stay
with you. If you like a man, say so.  Don’t be stalkerish, but do ask him out.  Be woman enough to risk the rejection.  Men have been doing it for centuries.  You can do it once.  And if he says no, don’t take it personally.  It’s not some indictment of your character, hygiene, or personal style.  If he says yes, don’t be afraid to pay.  You don’t have to be sugar mamma, but if you’re worried he might think dinner includes dessert at your house, don’t set that expectation.  Pay your half.

For you guys, if you want a real woman, you need to act like a real man.  Be up front about how you feel.  Tell the truth.  Be upfront about what you like, what you don’t like, and what you want from a relationship.   If you like a woman, for gods sakes, speak up.  Be plain.  Women, as intuitive as we are, are not psychic.  Be man enough to risk the rejection.  A real woman will find you. 

Bikini Lawn Service

I’ve maintained for a long time now that women are their own worst enemies.  Too many of our sisters “shake that money maker” for a few dollars.  Another case in point is a lawn service in Tennessee.  The lawn service is run by women and they mow in bikinis.  They’ve even said that they’ll come rake leaves in the fall in bikinis.  Rather than doing a better job, they flash a little skin and get paid.  It sounds like another exploitative profession – topless dancing.  Why not just slap a price tag on your ass and stand on the corner while you’re at it?  How are men supposed to respect us when we keep trading on our sexuality to get a few extra bucks?

Drama Queen – a.k.a. Stoooopid Women

I know someone that we’ll call her Nancy.  Nancy was dating a guy named Henry.  Henry asked Nancy marry him even though Henry had several other women going on the side, including a couple of other marriage proposals.  Now, Henry is an pathologist (M.D.) and even though he’s 41, he’s got a nice lifestyle from his profession.  Nancy found out about Henry’s other women. 

Henry explained to her that they were just friends, but Nancy wasn’t  completely reassured.  Because she was suspicious, she installed some software on his computer to see what Henry was up to. Lo and behold, Henry is a cheating man-ho. It didn’t take long before the IM’s and emails offered up proof that Henry was carrying on more than platonic relationships with the other women. 

Now, Nancy started poking around to see what else Henry had told her was a lie.  She uncovered an incident where he had beaten a former girlfriend.  Apparently this incident had not been sent to the licensing board and Henry is quite concerned that Nancy will notify them of the incident.  If Henry were to loose or have his license to practice medicine suspended, this would greatly impact his lifestyle. 

Now, instead of just letting this looser go, Nancy has decided to terrorize Henry.  She’s been contacting the other women that Henry has been seeing and informing them that Henry is a wife-beater. She’s made several posts on several web sites and even put up a web site that complains about Henry’s actions.  Most of the information has been removed due to complaints by Henry.  However, Nancy is still unwilling to move on.  She spends her days obsessed by what Henry’s doing and what woman Henry is taking advantage of next.  Apparently, Henry’s newest target is a young lady that works for him.  Since she’s only 21, Nancy wants to advise this girl’s parents of Henry’s previous actions. 

Nancy has also been trying to obtain Henry’s cell phone records and a host of other personal information in the hopes that this will some how give her the ammunition to “ruin him like he’s ruined so many women.”  Frankly I find this behavior to be some what at odds with “normal”.  In spite of suggestions that she seek professional help and being told point blank that she’s acting like a stalker, she persists in knowing what Henry is up to at any given moment.  The really sad part is that Nancy is a single mom.  If she’d devote half as much time and energy to making money as she does to trying to “nail” Henry, she’d a millionaire by now.  I’m sure that her child would benefit from some of this mis-spent time an attention to. 

Women – Still 2nd Class After All These Years

Well, we’re still second class citizens in most of the world even though we make up 52% of the population.  A recent soccer game, meant to bring Christians and Muslims together on a different (and unarmed) field of conflict was canceled.  Apparently the imans (Muslim priests) felt threatened that even coming into accidental contact with a one of the female priests was unacceptable and might “rouse special feelings” that “could lead to something inappropriate.”  Now…will someone kindly explain to me what’s so dang sexy about a hot sweaty woman who’s been playing soccer?

A shrine in Japan is devoted to nothing more than ending bad relationships.  Guess who visits that?  You got it.  Most of the visitors are women who crawl down a rock tunnel to offer up prayers that their miserable relationship be ended.  I’m thinking you have to be pretty desperate to crawl, on your hand and knees, for fifty feet down a small, claustrophobic rock tunnel to leave an offering and pray to be rid of your boyfriend, husband, etc. 

At the women in Japan aren’t slaughtered for wanting to leave their relationships.  In many countries, it’s easy enough to kill a woman for a wide variety of reasons.  Maybe she didn’t serve dinner on time.  One woman was murdered publically – having her throat slit in the town square because a song was dedicated to her over the radio by someone outside her family.  What backward place did this occur in you ask?  Well, actually it was in Turkey which is by far one of the more moderate Muslim states. 

In places that are even less enlightened than Turkey, the problem is far worse.  If you speak to anyone but a family member, you can be killed.  If you don’t dress “properly” (i.e. wear a bag over your entire body with one eye hole) when you leave the house, you can be killed.  One woman was killed because her husband had a dream that she was going to have sex with someone else.  She hadn’t actually done anything.  He just had a dream.  Another woman was lured by her mother to her mother’s office so that her father and brothers could muder her.  Her great crime that was worthy of a death sentence – she wanted a divorce from a violent and abusive husband.  Lest you think these are some uneducated and ignorant folk – let me disabuse you of that notion now.  Her mother was a physican and her father was a lawyer – a lawyer for the UN no less and involved in human rights issues. 

Maybe the dowry wasn’t big enough to make the husband happy.  He keeps the dowry, kills the woman, and then marries again, obtaining yet another dowry.  Nothing like dousing your new and pregnant bride with kerosene and setting her on fire so that you can find another one.   Not that the second one is likely to fare much better. 

Other women are abused because they or their family reject the man as a candidate for marriage.  Girls have been set on fire, doused with acid, and disfigured in a variety of ways.  Once a suitor is rejected, he may well take it out on the girl in question in order to keep her from being able to marry anyone else.  It’s so heinous and juvenile, it should be punishable by death.  “I can’t have you, so I’m going hold you down while this acid eats half your face off so that no one else will want you.” 

Then we have the modification of the female anatomy in order to render the woman “acceptable” to her husband.  I’m sure that some of you will have heard of the term “female circumcision“.  What most of you do not know is that this practice is quite wide spread.  It normally involved removing most a woman’s external genitals in a ritual fashion.  That means that it’s usually done without any kind of anesthia and with some sort of a crude intrument – like a sharp bone or shell.  It’s also not done in anything like modern hygenic conditions either.  If you don’t survive the process, you were “a witch” and didn’t deserve to live. If you do survive the process, your body is now rendered disfunctional, prone to infection, unable to bear children normally, and often has a whole host of other health issues. 

Then we move on the more “enlightend” countries.  While we’re not property, with all the issues involving ownership and breeding rights, we’re still not equal to men.  The pay gap between men and women, instead of narrowing, is widening.  Decades of being the second wage earner has done nothing for us.  Instead, we pay money so that some $8/hr looser can raise our kids in day care while we work to bring in some extra cash to “give our kids the good life” and  so “they can have all the stuff I didn’t”. 

Yeah – we have equality.  NOT!