Ugly Americans

I think I have it figured out. I think I know why the rest of the world hates us. If that’s the case, they need to read this. Yes, we created the monsters below but we don’t have any more control of them than the Indonesians did of that tsunami or the Haitians did of their earthquake. And they’re pretty much about as powerful and make about as big a mess, too! Since these companies represent our “face” to the world, no wonder people spend so much time cussing &^%$#@! Americans! What they don’t realize is that we spend as much or more time cussing these companies….

1) Microsoft – over priced bloated operating systems, expensive databases, and hideously priced office suites. The software is buggy and you pay out the wazoo to be an alpha or beta tester. Microsoft’s motto should be “Who do you want to screw over today?” What non-Americans don’t know about them is that thanks to the lobbyist, we can’t do anything about them either. Since they have more money than god, it’s going to take an atom bomb to Redmond to shut them down.

2) Wal-Mart – a great lesson in how to extort the maximum discounts from your already 12 cent an hour third world suppliers. What non-Americans don’t seem to realize is that Wal-Mart doesn’t pay a living wage here, either. I know that when you’re making 12 cents an hour, $9 an hour seems like a lot. It’s not. Just having a place to live will take up almost all of that $9 an hour. So unless you can subsist off the occasional grape from the produce department, you’re flat out of luck.

3) Exxon-Mobil – the giant ecological disaster will be arriving on your shores soon… Yes, they make a mess overseas all the time. We know you’re angry about the toxic waste and sludge. What non-Americans don’t know is that they do it here too!

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