I can’t help but notice that many people are posting about how men suck, how women suck. Blah, blah,blah.  It’s really easy to blame everyone else.  Heck, that’s even an officially sanctioned thing.  If you went home and ran your parents through a meat grinder, it must somehow be THEIR fault that you killed them and turned them into patties for the church cookout.  However, that’s an entirely seperate rant. 

The fact of the matter in all strings of sucky relationships is that there is one common denominator.  There is one factor that remains the same from one crappy relationship to the next.  This is the part no one ever wants to hear.  It is a stark and unflattering truth.  That one common factor is – you guessed, kids – YOU.  For what ever reason in your dark and twisted past, you are attracted to psycho-bitches/complete assholes.  And for some reason, you send out subconscious signals that attract the psycho-bitches/complete assholes to you. 

Worse yet, people will treat you as shabbily as you let them.  Think that last statement over and let it sink in for a moment.  If you act like a doormat, then the psycho-bitches/complete assholes will think that they have free reign to run all over you.  The first time they try, you need stand up to them and let them know that this is NOT going to happen again.  Then they will either slink back to what ever rock you found them under or they will straighten up and actually act like a decent human being. 

Psycho-bitches/complete assholes come in two varieties.  First is the upfront psycho-bitches/complete assholes.  You can usually spot them because they say something like “The last person I dated was a psycho-bitch/complete asshole.”  That’s usually your cue to exit stage right.  The second type is the stealth psycho-bitches/complete assholes.  They have really nice things to say about their last relationship until you’re about 6 months into the new relationship in which case the ex is now in the “psycho-bitches/complete assholes” category and you know that they were being nice because they secretly want the ex back.  You also know that you’re nothing more than a placeholder for the ex.

Half the problem is that people who are dating don’t know what it is to be an adult.  They grew up with their parents letting them get away with lying. They cheated in high school.  They went off to college, joined a frat or sorority, which often takes cheating in class to a whole new level.  They lack both ethics and maturity.  Then you meet them and they apply those same ethics and maturity levels to you.  That’s what happens when you date “guys” and “girls” instead of  men and women. 

For you ladies out there, seriously, stop acting like it’s high school. If you want a real man, act like a real women.  Be upfront about what you like, what you don’t like, and what you want from a relationship.   A real man will find
you.  He will be someone you can trust and rely on and who will stay
with you. If you like a man, say so.  Don’t be stalkerish, but do ask him out.  Be woman enough to risk the rejection.  Men have been doing it for centuries.  You can do it once.  And if he says no, don’t take it personally.  It’s not some indictment of your character, hygiene, or personal style.  If he says yes, don’t be afraid to pay.  You don’t have to be sugar mamma, but if you’re worried he might think dinner includes dessert at your house, don’t set that expectation.  Pay your half.

For you guys, if you want a real woman, you need to act like a real man.  Be up front about how you feel.  Tell the truth.  Be upfront about what you like, what you don’t like, and what you want from a relationship.   If you like a woman, for gods sakes, speak up.  Be plain.  Women, as intuitive as we are, are not psychic.  Be man enough to risk the rejection.  A real woman will find you. 


11 thoughts on “Relationships

  1. i think its true that people have forgotten to be adults in this day and age. well myself included. i know i need to grow up and i just dont want to. but i am avoiding relationships right now so dont blame me about added relationship frustrations.

  2. You’re absolutely right. People never realize that they attract the sort of people that are similar in personalities to their own. Therefore by dating a complete asshole/psycho bitch they’re actually holding a mirror up to their own personality. It’s only once we mature that we find healthy relationships. Your blunt observations are very astute. πŸ™‚

  3. now the circle is complete.  there are grand sweeping posts that slam the “him”s.  there are grand sweeping posts that slam the “her”s.  and now there’s one here to slam the “self”s.  coming up next… blame the dog. 

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