Bill of Non-Rights

The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA.

“We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.”

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteed anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone — not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet peeve…get an education and go to work….don’t expect everyone else to take care of you!)

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don’t care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!


ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country’s history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!


4 thoughts on “Bill of Non-Rights

  1. No it’s not sarcasm.  I firmly beleive that everyone who comes here as an immigrant needs to learn the language.  If you want to speak what ever at home, that’s fine.  Signs should be in English – for a wide variety of reasons, not the least of which is safety.  Imagine for a moment that you’re a fireman trying to fight a fire at a day care.  How do you tell the difference between the sign that says “Nursery” and “Exit” if it’s all in Korean.  I think that government documents and proceeding should be conducted in English.  The reason – I – a tax paying citizen – do not feel the need to fund documents in 47 gazillion different languages.  I don’t feel the need to provide translators – also at tax payer expense.  If you want one or if you want your documents translated – pay for it yourself.  Stop expecting the tax payers to pick up the tab because you don’t want to learn the language of the country you immigrated to.  Outside of tourist areas in other countries, what do you think my odds are of 1) finding a job, 2) finding a house, or 3) having government officials translate documents or proceedings for me *at their own expense* into English?  I can tell you what the odds are – None, Nil, Nada, Zip, Zilch, Zero.  We haven’t even gotten into the economic impact of not speaking English or what happens in medical emergency or a whole host of other things.  The Irish that came here had to learn it.  The Italians had to learn it.  Most everyone who’s ever come here has had to learn it.  It’s how we communicate what we want, what we need, our ideas, our thoughts, our hopes, our dreams.  Our country is what it is because we cherry pick the best bits of each culture and jettison the rest.  How are supposed to trade with each other. talk with each other, work with each other – if we do not have a common tongue?
    As for that last comment, it is historically accurate.  Attempting to revise history to exclude it is revisionist and I’m a firm beleiver that once you let people start revising history a little, it’s just a short matter of time until it’s been revised a LOT.  I’m not saying you have to beleive in it.  Just stop trying to write it out.  Acknowledge that the guys that wrote the Constitution did believe in it and get over it. 

  2. I agree with the whole thing. Especially the last one. Think about it for a few minutes. The founding fathers were men of great faith. They made it a special point to call for religious freedom in this country – even if that meant people would be allowed to disagree with them. They set aside their own egos to allow the rest of us to believe or not…and to openly follow through on those beliefs. I find such a thing to be awesome. And not just to use the modern vernacular. I am in awe that these men were so comfortable in their beliefs that they were not afraid of disagreement. How many of us can say the same for ourselves?

Comments are closed.