Look, there are just some things that you should never ever admit to doing/having/owning unless you really and truly want everyone to know what a dumba$$ you are.
- Platform shoes, particularly the ones with the goldfish in them
- Orange hair – can we say “Troll doll”?
- The “I’m with stupid” T-shirt – this article of clothing should never be worn unless you are in a large crowd. Too small a crowd and it becomes obvious who the intended victim is. Alone and well….I guess the voices call you stupid alot?
- Ape-hangers on your motorcycle and most especially on one that isn’t raked. You look like a slightly scarier version of a kid on the monkey bars – except you’re stuck that way. Ewwww!
- Speedo swimsuits, unless you’re from Brazil AND have the body for it. Guys that means you need to have the…uh…total package, if you get my drift. Otherwise, why bother?
- Wheel spinners on anything more grown up than a big wheel. Didn’t we get over than in 3rd grade with our bicyles?
- Driving around town like the in-DUH-vidual you are with your christian fish on the back of the car and flipping people off.
- A beer cooler that’s bigger than you are. Yes, I’ll get on line and help you find an AA meeting to attend.
That’s all I can think of for now. I’m sure more stuff will occur to me later.