Double-Wides on the Glide

Why is that large women seem to congregate together at malls and
Wal-Mart?  And when they do why is that they seem to come in
herds?  Getting around one of them is enough of a problem in the
wide aisles at the mall much less the narrow ones at Wal-Mart. 
They never seem to be able to follow each other either.  They have
to fan out in order to take up the entire amount of available
space.  I’m always tempted to shout, “Wow, free food in the food
court.”  just to get them out of my way.  I’m just afraid
I’ll get trampled in the stampede…errr..rush.

They vaguely resemble large grazing bovines headed back to the barn for
a milking and some feed.  They wander at about the same speed,
too. Slow moving herds at that who magically seem to become really
snappy when you try to go around them.  As they mosey along over
the food court at the mall or the McDonalds at the Wal-Mart in order to
practice their bovine grazing ritual, small snails pass them. 

However, when the other shoppers go to pass them, some magical turbo
boost kicks in.  It’s a miracle that those thighs don’t start a
fire, as fast as they rub in order to keep you from getting around


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