You’re too fat if…

You are too damn fat if:

  1. You have to turn sideways to get down the aisle at Wal-Mart.
  2. You need an electric scooter because walking is too much effort.
  3. The elevator sounds an “overweight warning” when you get on.
  4. Your car tilts to one side (your side) and especially if it still tilts even after you get out on level ground.
  5. You can’t get through a revolving door.
  6. You think body butter is something that accumulates in your butt crack.
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