Clothing Falacies

The colder weather here in the DFW area has brought us welcome releif.  No, I’m not referring to the high tempratures.  I’m referring to what I call the Sausage Effect.  Girls, let me clue you in to a little secret.  Packing your size 16 a&& into some size 12 jeans does not make you a size 12.  What it does make you into is a sausage.  You look like a sausage in a skin, ready to burst. 

Furthermore, you remain deluded by your false sense of size 12ishness into wearing things with your jeans that you should not.  For example, if you already have your size 16 a&& shoved into some size 12 jeans, the excess must go somewhere.  Wearing a bare midriff top and showing where it went it just plan gross, espeically since the top will likely be a size 12 as well.  For some demented reason, the gals that do fall into two groups – those that seem to favor hip huggers with halter tops and those that favor mini-skirts with tight tank tops.  EWWWWW!!!!!

Frankly, some clothing should come with a pear and hash mark, like the “No Smoking” signs.  If you look like a pear, walk away!  This fashion item is not for you.