The Perfume Industry

Today’s commentary is going to be on the perfume industry.  How is it that someone like Paris Hilton has a fragrance?  Frankly, I cannot think of anyone that I would less like to be identified with than her.  I’m also wondering how you bottle a scent that says, as South Park put it, “Spoiled, Stupid Whore.”  I’m pretty sure that every internet user over the age of five as seen at least clips of the vido of Paris being “soiled”.  While the video may have been “private”, she still made it.  The first rule in a digital world is don’t smile at the camera – you never know what your head will be pasted on to tomorrow.  (My personal favorite is my boss as a llama.)   

So, the big question is what this smells like.  I’m thinking a strong undercurrent of latex condoms set off nicely by cheap booze with overtones of spermicide, KY and breath mints and a lingering afternote of ether from the crack.

Brittany Spears also has a new fragrance out.  How do you bottle something that says “talentless blonde with big boobs”?  I’m thinking bottom notes of peroxide and silicone, a midrange of lip gloss and hair spray, with top notes of bubble gum.